Senior Night.

Mad posters and

Streamers,

Speeches; that caused

Tears and

Hugs, plus

Gifts, and

Flowers, and many

Pictures...

equals Memories.

Seniors of our team and I.

(Courtney G., Danielle S., (Me,) Jaren J., & Ashley M.)

Fans were AWESOME.

Mulatto.

I may be lighter than you,

But my father isn't.

I have the ability to speak spanish,

But that doesn't mean I am.

I like my hair straight,

But my curls are natural.

I like to speak proper english,

But my attitude still exists.

My madre's parents?

One's Irish; the other, Portuguese.

My father's?

One's Jamaican; the other, Cherokee.

When summer comes,

I don't turn red.

Although my skin is light,

Ashiness is still visible.

Best of both worlds;

Black & White.

I am Mulatto.

* Not the best post, but I wanted to post something... different.

Lalalalaa :]

So, I could say A LOT of things.. one too many things.. in response to that hilarious, wonderfully false, amazingly rumor-based post about me by Ms. BIGshot. . .

But I won't.

As a matter of fact, I can say some fucked up, HONEST TRUTH shit that could just trigger this female's nerves more than I already do.. just-make-her-wanna-kill-me type words. . .

But I ain`t even going to attempt to stoop that low.

As a 19 year-old working college student with responsibilities, she should know better. . .

She should know better than to actually let and allow "uncool little highschoolers" like me, get to her head.

Apparently, she doesn't get it.

She needs more time. . . to GROW UP.

Some people learn at their own pace and are slow-learners, but she'll get it one day.

And I accept that.

I'm going to just dust my hands with this one; turn my back on it; be the "bigger person". . .

Shaq Diesel, right ?

AND LET THIS GO.

Because, honestly, what's in it for me ?

Absolutely NADA.

So, I ain`t even going to waist my time.

Since when did Blogger.com become the new site to "bang" and talk shit about other heads, start arguments, fights, and beef?

aka BULLSHIT.

Keep this shit as a "place for venting" as some say, and not a place where the unnecessary and uncalled is said/written to give people MORE to vent about.

Don't you have something more called a ... LIFE?

Oh yeah, she's coming to my school soon.

I'm shaking.

Lmao.

Appreciation.

Today, I learned a valuable lesson.
All because a long lost amigo of mine hit me up on AIM.
He told me that I changed his life.
And I believe it.
I've known him for about 3 years, and throughout all these years, I've helped him with so much.
Guided him towards the "right direction"; showed him the difference betweem "right" and "wrong"; opened up his mind on how to solve certain situations, making him think more about the consequences, and what good it would actually do for him; if there was no good, there was no point; I helped him learn from his own mistakes and how to prevent them. I encouraged him and convinced him to keep his head up, even when events were happening in his life that made him just wanna fall and never get back up..
Basically, all I did was be a good friend to him; give him a friendship that no one ever did and still never has; became a person he could always come to for anything; trustworthy, whatever we talked about remained our conversation; a shoulder to cry on, if he ever chose to cry.
I became a very important person in his life.
He was willing to do anything for me.
His best friend, and he loved me for just being that.
For just being there.
His angel, as he calls me, for picking him up whenever he fell.
For being his optimistic thinker while his thoughts were only pessimistic.
Every day conversations..
And then we lost contact.
Not intentionally.
Just because.
I think the last time I heard from him was weeks.. even months ago.
And then he hit me up today.
Like he had never left.
We started catching up on eachother's lives and..
I'm proud of him.
He's become the person that's opposite of what he used to be.
My lessons taught were his lesons learned and it showed.
He reminded me that he is still willing to do anything for me, even though I won't allow it.
But he showed me something else, too..
Informed me of something I needed to know..
I learned that I was appreciated.
And it made me feel good.
Real good.
And it made me ask myself:

"I have people that actually appreciate me, so why am I stressing people that don't?"

Just For You.

Dear Blog Bangah,
No.
Dear Aol Instant Messenger Bangah,
Nah..
Dear Cyber Bangah,

STOP.

Thanks.

P.S. NO ONE SAID YOUR BLOG HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH JENIFER, STEPHAN, OR GEORGE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Words were obviously messed up in your mind which caused you to make and have false thoughts, assumptions, and accusations. You don't have time for it? Well, look around girl. No one does, and neither do I. Stop waisting your time, and stop waisting mine. I'm not sure if this course is available in college, but I highly recommend you take it: Grow the Fuck Up.

Remember, "Hate" is a strong word, but a weak emotion.

THE END.

Better in Time.

This is the day where my hair looked really nice a few posts ago. . .

I really didn't go to sleep at 3am last night, but instead at 530am.

I woke up 4 hours later.

For some odd reason I was in a cleaning mood again..

Since my brother is in New York, I've been spending lots of time con Madre.


Overview:

• Thursday.
  

Applebee's.

It wasn't all that great. I actually wasn't very satisfied with the food there. The buffalo wings weren't even hot! I didn't even wanna take this picture, but madre insisted.

• Friday.

Rick's Roadhouse.

This was actually our first time here. I never even heard of this place. You learn something new every day.* This was my favorite place of the three. The hot wings aka "Wings From Hell!" w a little devil on the side on the menu, were actually hot. My mouth was numb for a little while. They kinda reminded me of the "Runnin` Through Hell" sauce from Phat Wings, except they beat those. I had to sit there and not eat or drink anything at all for a few minutes. And they had fried mac & cheese, which is that weird looking ball on my plate. At first madre and I were like what the.. and then I dug in and it actually satisfied my tastebuds. Highly recommend Rick's Roadhouse for a bite. It's downtown somewhere.

• Saturday.

Marchetti's.

Madre said the plate looked bigger than me.

I had NO idea how to approach this plate, and after a while I wasn't even hungry anymore.

This is what it looked like AFTER a few bites.

Haha.. my turn to take pictures. =D

Okay.. that's enough. It made her laugh though. =)

Then off we went to the stores...

Kohl's.

Walmart.

Target.

Gas station.

So, as I was laying down this morning before I went to sleep, I was thinking about the songs that I'm relating to and how they can actually represent how I felt, or am still feeling..

At first it was like.. "Something Special" by Usher, "Halo" by Beyonce,"I'm in Love" by Nicky B (which has 275 plays on my iPod), and "Sweet Dreams" by Beyonce. Then it was "Long Distance" by Brandy for a little while, "Dime" by Ivy Queen" and "Lions, Tigers, & Bears" by Jazmine Sullivan (doubting stage), and "My Love" by Usher. Then I went to New York and it was like "Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez, then "Butterflies" by Michael Jackson; I had those BAD. I couldn't even speak. After that, "Weak" by SWV, "Touched By An Angel" by Lloyd, "You Think You Know" by Corey Williams, "Perdidos" by Monchy y Alexandra, "You Are My Everything" by Mary J. Blige, and "Yours Forever" by Mario.. "Stay With You" by John Legend, "It's Yours" by J. Holiday, and "Don't Change" by Musiq Souldchild. After a while, it went back to "Long Distance" with "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down, and unfortunately, "You've Changed" by Keyshia/Keisha? Cole.. "Don't Take Your Love Away" and "When It Hurts" by Avant. Arguements led to "Moving Mountains" by Usher, "Make It Like It Was" by Pretty Ricky, "Make It Work" by Ne-Yo, and "I Hate This Part" by Pussycat Dolls.. followed by "Don't Speak" by No Doubt and "Heart Ain`t A Brain" by Chris Brown. Now it varies from time to time with this BIG mixture of "Cry No More" and "Last to Know" by Chris Brown + "After the Hurricane", "My Foolish Heart", and "Silent Tears" by Jazmine Sullivan + "If You Leave" by Mary J. Blige and Musiq Souldchild + "I Remember" by Keyshia/Keisha? Cole + "Not Anymore" by Letoya Luckett + "Walk Away" by Marques Houston, "Let Go" by Ne-Yo, "Out of the Blue" by Ryan Leslie, "I'm Still in Love with You Boy" by Sean Paul and Sasha, "Best Thing" by Usher, "Reminisce" by Mary J. Blige and "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis..

*Colors represent the level of "love" we were on. Red being wtf is goin on, Green being hey, this can actually work, Purple/Pink being I love this kid, Yellow being uh-ohhh.. Blue being hurt, sad, crying time, letting go, and moving on.. well.. trying to..

"Be Next To Ya" - Krys Ivory ft. Ryan Leslie

Rehabilitation is ssslooowwwwllllyyyy coming to an end.

I've Been... Tagged.

Thanks W. Spahk ! -___-

The rules: Write 16 things about yourself; tag however many people you want by leaving them a comment letting them know they've been tagged.

1. I do not like being put on the spot to list random things about myself. It causes me to think too much. Don't Judge Me.

2. I'm pretty tall for a female.. 5'10 ?

3. I hate Classical High School.. and I go there..

4. In case you haven't read, I'm currently recovering from a unexplainable heartbreak.. =/

5. My favorite number is 5. Ever since Gerald Green came to my vision.. But I don't even like him anymore. I just like 5.

6. I love the color Green; it's for Freaks. ;)

7. Music is basically my life (besides Heiry). I listen to almost EVERYTHING, but I prefer songs I can relate to. My music has to BLAST, nothing less. And most likely you'll find me dancing to almost everything as well. Unfortunately, I'm relating to not-so-happy songs right about now..

8. I went out to eat with my madre these past three days.

9. I call my cat "Meow," even though his name is "Smokey."

10. I only like writing in blue ink, so please DO NOT give me a pencil or a black pen.

11. I come from 4 different eithnic backgrounds, but speak the language that I'm not; Spanish.

12. I tend to give extremely good advice that I, myself, have a hard time following when it's my turn to take it.

14. I have an obsession with lips.. height.. and skin tone when it comes to people I have an interest for. I think I've only made ONE acception.

15. It doesn't take much to please me or make me fall for you. That's my only weakness.

16. I really don't wanna be tagged again if it's possible.

I'm tagging:

Spiffy.

Ryan c.

&Susana.

It's Gonna Be the Death of Me.

Burned knees; tried to cover one and the other gets it.
Hip is eff`d up AGAIN; some girl elbowed me --in the AIR dude.
My back.. in pain like a MOFO.
Jammed my right pinky.
I think I'm getting a bruise on my left shoulder.
And during the time, I couldn't breathe or else I'd get back spasms. -___o
On top of that, I couldn't find my water, so I was dehydrated and tired.
Then, we got smashed by BVA again.
Yup;

Basketball is going to KILL ME.

P.S. The boys got their first LOSS today against Shea...

o_o O_O O_O

That means they are no longer UNdefeated.

But I'm take my ass back to bed since it IS like 3:am.

Highlight: Mariahhx33

"Shanelle,You are being talked about as the person who has a finger on the pulse of what's going on. Look to be called upon to be a leader and to guide everyone towards the most advantageous direction. Your love life will also benefit from your reputation."

Most definitely not today; GO ME!

Not Today.

8:30am is too early on vacation.
Smashed on Juanita Sanchez.
Killer Whale.. Lmaoo .
14 points.
Aoww.
Blog reading.
Applebee's.
Exhaustion without the want to sleep.
I realized why I don't talk to my madre a lot;

I never know what she's talking about half the time.

Music Feeds My Soulx33

"Better in Time" - Leona Lewis

"Next to Ya" - Krys Ivory ft. Ryan Leslie

"Out of the Blue" - Ryan Leslie

Chris Fucking Brown.

SMHH .

I thought this was pretty funny:

Okay.

Maybe just once.

"But he still has a large place with furniture, and all-you-can-eat food in my heart.."

And what I was just told right now made everything so much better.

"Past affairs of the heart will serve as a guide to future love."

This helped, too.

Gray.

I'm still recovering.
Ms. Lovable is mending; slowly, but surely.
No lagrimas today.
And the heartbreak kid was only mentioned once I think?
I give myself an A-. Only becus he was still in my thoughts.
He's been getting a little too much attention here.
Classical girls got smashed, spanked, and smacked all over by BVA today.
Last night we did the same to Tollgate. Alexia with 35 points!
Overall, the last two games haven't been my best; haven't been into it.
My body feels like it's been slowed down, and my head be elsewhere. :-/
So, yesterday, my horoscope said some shit like,

"...Look forward to an upswing in the romance department. Passion will be reignited with your partner."

It gave me hope.

I talked to him, too, last night.

Before I read the horoscope.

And.. conversation was good. Almost great actually.

I avoided the "us" conversations, becus.. well.. that's calling for an arguement. It's actually better we didn't talk about us, love, committment, etc. I'm pretty sure he KNOWS and completely UNDERSTANDS how much I care about him. So, I don't have to remind him.

Maybe that was the problem before? Too much love? Lmaoo .

But yeah.. convo was good. There were some friendly disagreements...

And he mentioned some chick like 3 times, like I was supposed to ask about her or something. -___-

Highlight: Biting. =]

"I still love him as much as I love talking to him [which caused me to love him in the first place], but I still wanna let him know and inform him at the end of the night, before he goes to bed, that my heart adores him; My body longs for him. & that I still love him. "

My madre asked about him.. Well.. She tried to talk about him. She thought he lived here. And she wanted me to be open with her or whatever.. But I already know half the stuff she's gonna say so..

Chill.

I like making my own mistakes, learning from my own mistakes, and fixing my own mistakes. I'm doing pretty damn good so far. I'll be fine Madre, thanks for caring though. Ily.

Today I "renewed" a friendship I had thought was lost and gone forever.

It would've been really nice to see him today.. sigh*

I've been singing and dancing a lot lately.Which is a good thing.

It shows that my happiness is returning.

Soon, I'll be myself again.. with new principles and new standards.

He just hit me up. 11:50pm.

Jazmine Sullivan is my favorite artist right about now;

"My Foolish Heart"

"After the Hurricane"

"Silent Tears"

My cat swears he's a king. When I'm sitting at the computer, he decides he can just hop on my lap and curl into a ball and get comfortable. Then, he expects me to pet him the whole time he's there, but I don't, so he falls asleep. And when I go upstairs, he follows. Well, he runs as if he's racing me to get up there first and meows for me to feed him. Fat ass. And it's funny becus sometimes I'll be walking and he expects me to move out the way or go around cus he's laying down. Yeaa Aiighttt . Lmaoo .

What's a tumblr?

"DISTANCE REALLY DOES MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER."

"Golden" By Chrisette Michele

I've never heard so much beauty in a song.

I saw this on Liani's blog and it made me think a lot:

"Sometimes patience is the best answer."

He didn't seem to understand that either.

First, Realization; Then, Rehabilitation.

This is going to be another one of those.. venting posts.
I came across a few conversations that trigured this.
"Good Stuff derived from the Bad Stuff."
I learned that I'm not the only one going through this stage in life.
Some people are 98% there.
I'm going to just put random parts of conversation on here.
On my behalf of realizing.

"If you love something let it go.. "
I've been trying to hold on, I can't if he doesn't.
Like your blog says, if that someone isn't meeting you halfway, then it's not worth it.
But the difference between my blog and my situation is that he used to meet me halfway..

Time, S p a c e , & Distance changed You.
So there's nothing left for me to do,
But to let Time, S p a c e , & Distance change Me..

Now that I think about it, he basically held my hand through it.
Reguardless of the minor, obvious problems.
You gotta do what's best for your star player, and that's you.
After a few months, he became my star player.
My happiness.
My number one.
My world.
Sometimes, I felt like he was my backbone.
My day wasn't complete unless I talked to him.
Even from miles away..
Something that felt so Right, but in reality was very Wrong.
We don't choose who we fall in love with.
We also don't choose who we get hurt most by..
He's fine.
According to him, his puzzle is complete with or without me.
He seems happy and unbothered.
I just need to learn to smile again, because I deserve to do so as well.
I think it's better if you let go.
It's easier said then done.
You have to try.
What do you think I've been doing?
Talking to him, arguing with him, blogging about him, thinking about him.
& NONE of that helps.
Actually... it does.
If you say so.
I do say so, because I know so. I think I know myself by now.
True, but sometimes you need to be saved from yourself..
That's where other people come in.
I got myself into this situation, I can get myself out.
Let Him Go.
As much as I don't want to;
No matter how much it hurts;
No matter how many tears fall;
No matter how much effort I put in to try and complete this puzzle with missing pieces...
I don't need anyone to tell me what I already know.
I know what I'm doing.
I know what I have to do.
I just need to do it.
I need to let go.
Everytime those words are mentioned, my throat tightens, and my eyes water.
Respira.
Just get over it, Shanelle.
You can do this.
I know. I know. I know.
I can.
Want vs. Need
And Want is beating the shit out of Need.
I just need to..
See Him.
Feel Him.
Kiss Him.
One More Time.
Take a long, hard, good look at what and who I fell in love with;
Who caused me nothing but joy and sorrow; pleasure and pain;
Who I gave my heart to, and who I let break it,
Then walk away..
Let Go.

Rehab.

No, I'm not on drugs.

But, I've been recovering.

I've been putting 149% of my effort into a 504 piece puzzle, expecting to finish it in one night..

It's been wearing me downnnn .

The project was given November 6th, 2008, and I was on a roll at first, finding all the edges, and gradually getting to the inside pieces. Then, there was this blockage, and all the pieces started to look the same, and my "partner", who at first seemed to encourage me and help me with this puzzle, started taking back pieces.... without a clear explanation to why... And I feel like no matter how hard I try, I just CAN'T find the pieces or get them to match up; the puzzle is falling apart, my "partner" doesn't seem to care about it anymore, and I'm starting to wonder why I started this project in the first place..

A lot of rain has fallen from my eyes within the last week or so.

This hurts more than a broken left arm in 4th grade, a foot cut open one summer, a few sprained ankles, losing your favorite pet & both great-grandparents in the same year, the same arm sprained for the same reason it got broken years later, and how I left my first boyfriend, ALL WRAPPED IN ONE.

Friends try, but it doesn't work.

My mom was right; my iPod IS depressing.

Everything I do, say, watch, read reminds me of New York..

..and other things.

I can't stop reminiscing; I can't stop crying.

It's all part of my rehabilitation.

Did you know we celebrate Valentine's Day for the completely OPPOSITE reason it was created a holiday ?! SMH.

I don't celebrate that day, I don't plan on it. Ever.

On the flip side...

Susan's Birthday was awesome.. I should've stayed.

M.F.'s party.. my iPod almost saved it. Almost.

Sleepover @ Drazy's was fun.

"Goodnight Dum-Dum."

Classical girls won their practice game today.

5 more [real] games left.

Zack still isn't fixed, hopefully tomorrow.

That bitch Annie is back though.

Ugh.

Tasha + Movies + Candy + Tiredness + Sidekick + Freshmen =

Boring Fun.

If You Leave - Musiq Soulchild ft. Mary J. Blige

I'm Still In Love With You Boy - Sasha ft. Sean Paul

Last To Know - Chris Brown

Walk Away - Marques Houston

Not Anymore - Letoya Luckett

You've Changed - Keisha Cole

Torn - Letoya Luckett

After the Hurricane - Jazmine Sullivan

I looked really nice today.

Well.. my hair at least.

If the pics upload, you'll be able to see, but until then..

My teeth hurt.

I need braces...... NOW.

My summer caught up to me a little.

I saw a person from my summer, who then hit me up a few minutes later, then got picked up from my cousin who I was also with in the summer, who goes out with a brother of another person from summer, and we all wanna meet up one of these days.

Sweet Coincidence.

I've got nada more to say..

Heartbreak Sucks.

NEVER fall in love.

Never. Never. Never.

And if you do, make sure its local, as strong as it seems, and meaningful before you drop the words.

In order for a relationship to work, it takes two; so don;t put so much effort into something if the other person isn't meeting you half way, get it ?

I learned the hard way, and I'm never contradicting or considering to change my beliefs EVER again.

It's about that time where my nightmares and dreams clash.

Thanks for tasting my thoughts, seeing my feelings, and getting inside my head.

"Blater."

p.s. i watched Juno today. That movie's fuckin` sweet.

Unnecessary Information.

I'm psychic. I don't give a damn what anyone says.

Remember last night when I said I was going to have an interesting night?

Well, it was interesting alright.

As well as heart-breaking.

FUCK THE BULLSHITTTT.

I don't NEED it.

Most def. don't WANT it.

He just needs to make up his mind.

SMFHH..

All Day = Holding back my tears. Until last period which I finally had with my wife and got to finally talk it out with someone who understands.. cry it out, too.

I hate crying with a passionnnnnn.

I feel weak and like a little bitch! -___-

So I came up with this last night after all was said and done:

My throat tightens at just the thought of you leaving,

While my eyes tear at the start of believing,

And as my body gets sore, and my soul begins to ache,

I know, now, that I'm being welcomed to Heartbreak.

All that wasn't said was all I needed and wanted to know.

So unclear, yet makes perfect sense.

Absurd.

Silence Screams The Truth.

End of my day was fun..

McDonald's.

Basketball in the other gym.

Boys Game.

Jenifer & Ryan.

BK.

Smiles.

Laughter.

Pictures.

Not of us; just me looking at them.

Subway.

Strawberry water. ^_^

Homework.

My report card sucks for 2nd quarter. -___-

What the fuck was I doing ?

SLACKING.

Not gonna let that slip again.

I misssss Zackkkk [my phone].

Gahhhhh .

I like this poem:

You charmed me not with that fair face,

Though it was all divine;

To be another's is the grace

That makes me wish you mine.

The Gods and Fortune take their part,

Who, like young monarchs fight,

And boldly dare invade that heart,

Which is another's right.

First mad with hope we undertake

To pull up every bar,

but once possessed, we faintly make

A dull defensive war.

Now every friend turned a foe,

In hope to get our store,

And passion makes us cowards grow

That made us brave before.

By John Dryden

"I choose ME."

-Tamia

Goodnight.

Hilarious.

Blog Bangers.

Older than me, yet still need an advance in their mentality, maturity, and Grow The Fuck Up-ity.

Why would I want yours when I got mine ?

Smh.

Get over yourself, stop posting shit, and move onnnn..

Anyways.

Unecessary Drama Drama Drama surrounds me.

It's so damn ridiculous how people come out to be nowadays..

Sophmore Year: Year of Realization.

And as for you, my dear loved one,

Ya no se que hacer contigo.. con nosotros.

Back to homework that I've been slacking on for days..

I wonder what my report card looks like..

I have a feeling I'm in for an interesting night.

Shut the Fuck Up.

Yeah, that goes for you.

Are you fuckin` serious guyy ?!

People disgust me.

Expect the Unexpected.

Pshh... Please.

Maybe it's for the best.

Things happen for a reason, too.

FUCKKKKK.

People are starting to treat this shit like a new Myspace.

Blog Bangahs. LMfaoo.

And I'M the immature one?

Give me a break.

Fuck both of you.

Why are most people determined to be different and unique, yet are still all the same?

SMH.

Trapped.

Have you ever felt trapped inside?

Like there was something you wanted to say or do..

But couldn't?

Like you tried to escape, but you couldn't quite get yourself to move?

Like you KNEW you had to walk away, but every time you tried to leave something kept pullin` you back?

Chingy and Tyrese type shit, you know?

Lately, that's all I've been feeling.

And even when I do say what I think has to be said, I don't feel like I've said enough or that I've said too much and still didn't get the point across..

Maybe thing are better off left unsaid..

But I can't lose him.

"If you love something, let it go..."

But I won't.

If I love something, I'm going to put my best effort into keeping it.

Fuck the bullshit.

My mom says my iPod is depressing.

It's really not.

It just contains songs that represent how I feel and relate to.

I HATE LIARS.

And even worse, the ones who try to hide, cover-up, and sugar-coat everything.

If I ask a question based on information that's pretty damn far from a lie, just be straight up and answer it. Stop tryna be all secretive and shit like I don't already know.. SMH.

I ain`t stupid.

But I feel that way sometimes.

I love him so much it hurts.

I know..

This is..

The part..

Where the end starts.

I hate this part right here.

Victory At Last.

So, today Classical's varsity girls' team finally won.

It was an exhibition game, so I'm pretty sure it doesn;t count as anything important, but.. a win is a win.

Coach played me A LOT today, finally.

I scored 5 points.

Nice.

I'm exhausted. I think there were like 4 games this week? + Practice.

I missed the practice part due to the fact I fell down my stairs.

Twice.

-___-

There's a dance or something tonight at school..

I'm contemplating.

Last night, we talked and it was pretty awkward at first. You could feel the pride and stubborness within the conversation.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm jus gonna lay back, relax, and enjoy the show.

There's been absurd new hookups and relationships lately.

Very upsetting and just weird.

Mad drama once again.

Jus glad I'm not part of it.

A nap sounds sweet.

Later.

Blackmail.

Hangover?

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Never thought it'd catch me,

Never thought it'd cost me,

Never thought it'd hurt me,

Never thought I'd fall in love,

But I did.

I feel like somebody dropped a ton of bricks on my stomach.

Now,

I can't eat,

I can't sleep,

And it hurts me so deep.

I heard people talk about it

And laugh like it'll never happened to me.

Now look at me,

It caught me.

See how quick karma comes around?

Who says a man* is supposed to cry?

Wish I can crawl under a rock somewhere,

And Just Die;

Just want the pain to go away, today.

I don't wanna cry no more,

And I don't wanna hurt no more,

And I don't wanna love no more,

Especially if it causes this.

I don't want no part of it,

Because it hurts me so bad.

Even when it's sunny outside,

It still feels like it's raining;

No clouds inside,

But I still need your umbrella.

Sometimes I wish I would've never let you in,

And then, wish I never met you,

Fell in love with you,

Then I wouldn't feel like I do.

Who says a man* is supposed to cry?

Wish I could crawl under a rock somewhere,

And Just Die.

Just want the pain to go away, today.

I don't wanna cry no more,

And I don't wanna hurt no more,

And I don't wanna love no more,

Especially if it causes this.

I don't want no part of it,

Because it hurts me so bad.

Never thought it'd catch me,

Never thought it'd cost me,

Never thought it'd hurt me,

Never thought I'd fall in love,

But I did.

Hello, Bronx.

This beautiful little girl makes all my days brighter. Even though she denies me when we're in New York, I still love mi niña, Feidy. So yeah.. Saturday night, I rushed around 7ish until 8 trying to get all my stuff together for the trip.. When I got to Heirys, they was chillinnnnnn. Turns out we had to wait for Chito to come before we left at 1130? There was this kid who came with us. I have no idea what his name was, but he wasl ike Chito's nephew or somethin.. You could've sworn this guy did not speak english! He was dumb quiet.. And was oblivious to EVERYTHING. It was awkward... I wanted to make conversation to break the silence but.. I didn't know what to say or what language to say it in.. "/ I find out he speaks perfect english 4 hours later, when we actually get to NY. lmaooo. I knew it.

Wiferrrrrrrrrrrrrr ! My LIFE. I don't think I can LIVE without her.. She doesn't know it, but she opens a lot of doors for me, and I she's like THEE bestest Best Friend Ever. Title is hers for a lifetime.

And since I saved this as a draft for so long I'm gonna just um... post pictures.. and say a little and jus call it a day.. Let's remember this was last Saturday.

So.. we happened to wear the same styled sneakers unplanned. This has been happening A LOT lately.. whether it's with our hair, color of our clothes or style of our jeans, SOMETHING is similar between us.... without any intention. We're trying to conclude that maybe A. we spend too much time with eachother or B. she stays thinking about me while she's getting dressed! or vice versa =] Hehe.. Look at Feidy's little shoe.

We arrived at our destination at about 2:30ish am. I really hate the drive to New York, but it's worth it, I guess. But no sleep took place. We greeted everyone, settled ourselves, ate, myspaced, looked at pictures, waited until everyone fell asleep to do Shaki's hair randomly at 5am, and then I fell asleep at 6am while these locas went to bed at 7.
GOOD MORNING AT 9am! -___-

Oh yeah, this is us dique squishing air out of the airbed.. =D FUNNNNNN.

Where Mofongo?

*Only certain people are expected to get this.

This was now Sunday by the way. Last time we came it was Sunday, too. Both very nice days... This Sunday happened to be the first time I've taken a train and NY bus in my life. Ever.

Superbowl/Family thing at the end of the night. No one was really watching though.. I went to the store with no shoes on and ate madddd MIke & Ikes.. Tummy ache? Yes. Heiry and I also ended running around the block at like 9 or 10pm for no reason.* We literally ran.. it was scary outside. Then the party.. everyone was up there, you know.. partying.

Meanwhile...

We were outside doing this, then some random guy came and started singing and dancing in front of us until Shakira told him to leave. Lmao.

He said he would report this video if I ever posted it.. but too bad he doesn't know about this. =]

We had to leave a few hour later, thanks to my mom not answering her phone, and me telling Blanca the info late..

I ended getting what I wanted before I left though.

Picture Post.

So, I'm going to state the obvious and say that I haven't posted in a few days... Who actually notices though ?
ANYWAYS. This happened Friday and Saturday during the day:

So he wishes..

My hair's best friend.

My ears' best friend.

Freewayyyyyy .

Madre.

Cheaters.. $$$

Brother... He needs a cut yoo..

Pocket full of sunshine.

Flea markets are crowded.

East Providence is far and easy to get lost in.

I can't fix my phone till' Wednesday.

I wanted that coat from Burlington Coat Factory.. BAD.

I was upset.

Got over it.

Looked forward to New York later that night.

Ohhhh Yeahhhhh .