Better in Time.

This is the day where my hair looked really nice a few posts ago. . .

I really didn't go to sleep at 3am last night, but instead at 530am.

I woke up 4 hours later.

For some odd reason I was in a cleaning mood again..

Since my brother is in New York, I've been spending lots of time con Madre.


Overview:

• Thursday.
  

Applebee's.

It wasn't all that great. I actually wasn't very satisfied with the food there. The buffalo wings weren't even hot! I didn't even wanna take this picture, but madre insisted.

• Friday.

Rick's Roadhouse.

This was actually our first time here. I never even heard of this place. You learn something new every day.* This was my favorite place of the three. The hot wings aka "Wings From Hell!" w a little devil on the side on the menu, were actually hot. My mouth was numb for a little while. They kinda reminded me of the "Runnin` Through Hell" sauce from Phat Wings, except they beat those. I had to sit there and not eat or drink anything at all for a few minutes. And they had fried mac & cheese, which is that weird looking ball on my plate. At first madre and I were like what the.. and then I dug in and it actually satisfied my tastebuds. Highly recommend Rick's Roadhouse for a bite. It's downtown somewhere.

• Saturday.

Marchetti's.

Madre said the plate looked bigger than me.

I had NO idea how to approach this plate, and after a while I wasn't even hungry anymore.

This is what it looked like AFTER a few bites.

Haha.. my turn to take pictures. =D

Okay.. that's enough. It made her laugh though. =)

Then off we went to the stores...

Kohl's.

Walmart.

Target.

Gas station.

So, as I was laying down this morning before I went to sleep, I was thinking about the songs that I'm relating to and how they can actually represent how I felt, or am still feeling..

At first it was like.. "Something Special" by Usher, "Halo" by Beyonce,"I'm in Love" by Nicky B (which has 275 plays on my iPod), and "Sweet Dreams" by Beyonce. Then it was "Long Distance" by Brandy for a little while, "Dime" by Ivy Queen" and "Lions, Tigers, & Bears" by Jazmine Sullivan (doubting stage), and "My Love" by Usher. Then I went to New York and it was like "Waiting for Tonight" by Jennifer Lopez, then "Butterflies" by Michael Jackson; I had those BAD. I couldn't even speak. After that, "Weak" by SWV, "Touched By An Angel" by Lloyd, "You Think You Know" by Corey Williams, "Perdidos" by Monchy y Alexandra, "You Are My Everything" by Mary J. Blige, and "Yours Forever" by Mario.. "Stay With You" by John Legend, "It's Yours" by J. Holiday, and "Don't Change" by Musiq Souldchild. After a while, it went back to "Long Distance" with "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down, and unfortunately, "You've Changed" by Keyshia/Keisha? Cole.. "Don't Take Your Love Away" and "When It Hurts" by Avant. Arguements led to "Moving Mountains" by Usher, "Make It Like It Was" by Pretty Ricky, "Make It Work" by Ne-Yo, and "I Hate This Part" by Pussycat Dolls.. followed by "Don't Speak" by No Doubt and "Heart Ain`t A Brain" by Chris Brown. Now it varies from time to time with this BIG mixture of "Cry No More" and "Last to Know" by Chris Brown + "After the Hurricane", "My Foolish Heart", and "Silent Tears" by Jazmine Sullivan + "If You Leave" by Mary J. Blige and Musiq Souldchild + "I Remember" by Keyshia/Keisha? Cole + "Not Anymore" by Letoya Luckett + "Walk Away" by Marques Houston, "Let Go" by Ne-Yo, "Out of the Blue" by Ryan Leslie, "I'm Still in Love with You Boy" by Sean Paul and Sasha, "Best Thing" by Usher, "Reminisce" by Mary J. Blige and "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis..

*Colors represent the level of "love" we were on. Red being wtf is goin on, Green being hey, this can actually work, Purple/Pink being I love this kid, Yellow being uh-ohhh.. Blue being hurt, sad, crying time, letting go, and moving on.. well.. trying to..

"Be Next To Ya" - Krys Ivory ft. Ryan Leslie

Rehabilitation is ssslooowwwwllllyyyy coming to an end.

Rehab.

No, I'm not on drugs.

But, I've been recovering.

I've been putting 149% of my effort into a 504 piece puzzle, expecting to finish it in one night..

It's been wearing me downnnn .

The project was given November 6th, 2008, and I was on a roll at first, finding all the edges, and gradually getting to the inside pieces. Then, there was this blockage, and all the pieces started to look the same, and my "partner", who at first seemed to encourage me and help me with this puzzle, started taking back pieces.... without a clear explanation to why... And I feel like no matter how hard I try, I just CAN'T find the pieces or get them to match up; the puzzle is falling apart, my "partner" doesn't seem to care about it anymore, and I'm starting to wonder why I started this project in the first place..

A lot of rain has fallen from my eyes within the last week or so.

This hurts more than a broken left arm in 4th grade, a foot cut open one summer, a few sprained ankles, losing your favorite pet & both great-grandparents in the same year, the same arm sprained for the same reason it got broken years later, and how I left my first boyfriend, ALL WRAPPED IN ONE.

Friends try, but it doesn't work.

My mom was right; my iPod IS depressing.

Everything I do, say, watch, read reminds me of New York..

..and other things.

I can't stop reminiscing; I can't stop crying.

It's all part of my rehabilitation.

Did you know we celebrate Valentine's Day for the completely OPPOSITE reason it was created a holiday ?! SMH.

I don't celebrate that day, I don't plan on it. Ever.

On the flip side...

Susan's Birthday was awesome.. I should've stayed.

M.F.'s party.. my iPod almost saved it. Almost.

Sleepover @ Drazy's was fun.

"Goodnight Dum-Dum."

Classical girls won their practice game today.

5 more [real] games left.

Zack still isn't fixed, hopefully tomorrow.

That bitch Annie is back though.

Ugh.

Tasha + Movies + Candy + Tiredness + Sidekick + Freshmen =

Boring Fun.

If You Leave - Musiq Soulchild ft. Mary J. Blige

I'm Still In Love With You Boy - Sasha ft. Sean Paul

Last To Know - Chris Brown

Walk Away - Marques Houston

Not Anymore - Letoya Luckett

You've Changed - Keisha Cole

Torn - Letoya Luckett

After the Hurricane - Jazmine Sullivan

I looked really nice today.

Well.. my hair at least.

If the pics upload, you'll be able to see, but until then..

My teeth hurt.

I need braces...... NOW.

My summer caught up to me a little.

I saw a person from my summer, who then hit me up a few minutes later, then got picked up from my cousin who I was also with in the summer, who goes out with a brother of another person from summer, and we all wanna meet up one of these days.

Sweet Coincidence.

I've got nada more to say..

Heartbreak Sucks.

NEVER fall in love.

Never. Never. Never.

And if you do, make sure its local, as strong as it seems, and meaningful before you drop the words.

In order for a relationship to work, it takes two; so don;t put so much effort into something if the other person isn't meeting you half way, get it ?

I learned the hard way, and I'm never contradicting or considering to change my beliefs EVER again.

It's about that time where my nightmares and dreams clash.

Thanks for tasting my thoughts, seeing my feelings, and getting inside my head.

"Blater."

p.s. i watched Juno today. That movie's fuckin` sweet.

RME*; SMH*; && SH*..Ughh.

Rolling My Eyes.

Shaking My Head.

&& Sighing Heavily.

If you can't tell, I'm not in the best of moods at the moment.

Family members, friends, and the weather don't help either.
Obvious Fact: It snowed today. A lot.

No school for me, so guess what I did ?!

Absolutely nothing that was entertaining or replaced my world of boredom.

Today sucked so bad. I tried to sleep through the whole day, but that didn't work. I woke up just in time to catch Maury. I cleaned my room, rearranged my closet, and took a shower, etcetera; all while blasting my iPod. I took some photos in between time :

Good Morning Sleepy Head. Lolo, this is for you, because I thought about it, and there's NO WAY you're gonna catch me in your house or in your presence with my hair all messy like this unless I actually did just finish waking up. Lmaoo.

I love you, too.

Timmy ! ^_^ Remember that time we talked about how I would look with curly bangs? Well, yeah... it does look weird. o_O

Flash.

Fucked me all up.

Think Green.

So, my mom came home and I was maddd hungry and she didn't wanna make food or buy any, so I was like wdf.. got mad upset. Whatever. Then Im busy on the computer with pictures and such and she kept bugging me to see some America's Next Dance Crew thing, but I really don't care about it so I was like NO, NO, NO.

I then check my IMs, from being idle for hours and not being on the computer all day, and mad heads hit me up. 3 of them for apparently NO reason at all. One I started a conversation with, but he had to BRB, which usually means I won't hear from him for a few hours or days. Ugh. I hate when he does that. Just tell me that I'm a wreck and that you're tryna help but Im being unappreciative, so fuck it, I'll talk to you another time. Straight up. And then a friend of mine from years ago asks if I wanna chill with her and her twin on their birthday. Its the thought that counts, so Im just like "I'll see cus basketball.. blah blah." And she says something around "Jus miss my birthday.." Like.. umm... I NEVER hear from you, what makes you think Ima just drop my priorities to go chill with you cus its your birthday?! Are you gonna come through for mine? Chill. Then my wifer and I get into this heated discussion over sarcasm and guess who hits me up with more sarcasm? Yup, him. Another arguement. Great. Meanwhile, Someone else is asking me to send mad pics from a party... like did you not read my away? It simply informs that Im ina bad mood and do not want to be bothered.. -____- Now he wants me to say something about him in this thing. (He said Sackary looks like Marcos.. seriously? SMFH.) If I were a jerk, I'd jus be like WELL HERE YOU GO. But I'm not so.. he has to wait. =P

I WANT TO SCREAM!

But my head hurts and my back too.. STILL.

And Im still hungry.. Im about to jus do something extreme and actually cook something. o_O

I'm freezing.

My dog keeps fucking barking, I wanna jus remove her like.. barking box for a while.. Its driving me insane.

I've missed way too many Celtics' games.. SMH. That reminds me when I used to watch wrestling every Monday and Friday. lol..

I think Tasha was the only one who made me feel better.

"Get That Stringbean."

Deep Breaths and I'm Gone.

What It Do.

See this picture? That's me.. after i cut bangs for the very first time since I was like 10 or somethin.. I don't know why I did or what I was thinking while I was doing it, but it looks nice so whatev. My hair isn't actually straight by the way..
Any who, in order for me to start this blogging thing, I was inspired by three, and encouraged by Jenifer. I loveeee ittttttt . =] I don't even know what to start off with.. introduction or something else.. Fuck it. You'll get to know me eventually. It took me FOREVER to make this ishh.. I almost gave up, but only losers do that. It was so complicated though.. I had to think about every decision I made.. -_____-
Last night I went to a Sweet Sixteen. It wasn't one of those MTV joints; we live in Providence where you're either tryna get money, or tryna get MORE money, cus everyone's popped. So yeahh, I had to wear a dress............ I wanted to wear a black one, but my mom was like "No, black is for funerals, sixteens are supposed to be happy.." Why when I showed up to the party almost every girl in there was wearing a BLACK DRESS.
And there was this girl there, that I've been like obsesseddd with since last year. She looked so fucking gorgeousss like alwayss. Her boyfriend hates me becus he knows I can take her away from him, but I wouldn't do that cus she..."loves" him. We were having... a pretty good time together.. until this dk fresh kidd shows up [her bf] and we had to keep our distances so she "wouldn't get in trouble." WACK. Since when did a boyfriend automatically become the father ?! wtfuckk . She was so worried about dancing while he wasn't there, but when she left, he had no problem dancing with anyone.. =x Fuck Him. That was pretty much the downfall of my night.
Kendel was there.. he made me miss Stephan sooo baddddd.
I need to fix my phone..
Lloyd is stepping up his game this year; I downloaded mad songs yesterday.
My mother is getting on my nerves. I wish I had like an off button for her sometimes..
This post is garbage.
I'm outta here.