Asshole.

SO, today is Sunday.
I had a rude awakening to something too embarassing to even mention.. I apologize, followed by a disappointing, but beautiful awakening to the raindrops on my window sill.

Last night Las Americas, the team I'm currently on, had a victorious game. I don't remember the score, it doesn't even matter to me really. I scored at least 10 points, my finger was hurting, and my coach still tends to be an idiot.

"Let the Players play, Coaches coach, and the Officials officiate."

Something I wish he would understand, listen to, and even if he disagrees, respect.

Anyways.

Someone beauitful unintentionally re-opened my eyes to this "sad vibe" in some of these blogs. A depression that you can't and don't actually catch a glimpse of when you see the writer in person. We can all come to the agreement that most people use this blogging site to vent, in other words, write about the deeper layer of thoughts and emotions that they can't put into words with their voice. Like 90-95% of the time, these blogs revolve around school, people from school, and events that take place there. The other 10-5% of it is about our outside-of-school lives, such as sports, jobs, friends, and families. I say this simply because "school," Pre-K until College, is where we spend most our lives, so that's basically where most of our sadness, anger, and eventually depression is caused by or comes from. All these flaws are hidden behind the dique "happiness" that is portrayed when we smile and say "Hello."
It's not like we can do anything about it. Half the time this "vibe" is caused by people we can't change and have no power over, events that, even though we're not part of, are still affected by, and a place that is expected so highly of, like Classical, yet it's digusting inside like.... Can we get a reformation like Central, whose deserving students so much needed it, did last year?? Can we get a stronger staff of teachers who are actually willing and determined to teach us what we need to know, giving us individual attention when needed, and make Classical the "college-preparatory school" that it's supposed to be?? Teachers who actually love what they do, and inspire students to learn, instead of giving piles of busy work for us to do during class and at home. And principals, who know how to discipline students other then just giving out hours of detention? That's OBVIOUSLY not discplining ANYONE because the same people are in detention EVERY SINGLE DAY. Principals who actually get to know and care about a student's well-being before judging them based on their attitude, tardiness, and amount of detention hours they have to serve. Don't any of you actually wonder WHY they have an attitude? WHY they're always late? WHY they act the way they do constantly and continuously get detention? As for the students... we're all a bunch of unique indiviuals who are suffering from the same pain, and yet, we treat eachother like it's the other's fault. What happened to open-mindedness? What happened to compromises? What happened to consideration and respect? Does the "Children are the Future" quote mean ANYTHING?! We're presently in the process of making the future based on what we've learned from the past. And if we all acting like bunch of fake, ignorant, selfish, and self-centered ASSHOLES, then what do you think we're going to be surrounded by later on in life? I bet no one even thinks of any of this the way I do.. And if they have, they're too afraid to speak up. Stop whispering the truth, and maybe, just maybe, people can stop shouting lies, because the truth is finally opened up to them. "Actions speak louder than words." But isn't speaking a verb, making it an action?

Does Anyone Even Care?!

I do, but I'm only one person. There's only so much I can say or do..

I feel like a hypocrit in a way, because lately..

I've been acting like and being a complete asshole.

A queen of all jerks.

With the attitude of the angriest female.

All because of both my in and outside of school lives.

I'm tired of working, I can't sleep through the night, my body is sore, my diet is irregular, which affects my learning and causes my bad attitude, as well as the negativity I'm surrounded by. I NEEEEDDD MONEYYYY and can't do anything about it at this age. I can't wait until June... I'm out of place in so many ways with no one to tell, who will actually understand, so I'm bottling. This world is so stressfullllll. Dique "Life is what you make it." Life is also affected by the surroundings that help make it.

I need a motherfucking vacation.

I need to stop swearing.

I need a new phone, since Zack is going to be the cause of my future diagnosis of being blind.

I need motivation.

So that I can fulfill the need to "step it up."

I need something or someone NEW.

I need sleep.

Blater.