Sing Javey, Sing!

Maybe.

Up at 3:10AM.
All because, for whatever reason, you don't want me again.
I've made way, pulled some strings, risked my nights just to see you.
I thought that was the main issue, but it's not.
I've learned to accept every last flaw of yours, every problem.
But that doesn't seem to be enough.
I like to believe I've even saved your life a few times.
"My efforts amount to nothing."
Maybe the real "problem" is much deeper.
Every day, there's some doubt in your mind that this won't work out.
You don't believe, don't understand that someone could care about you despite it all.
Maybe that's my fault.
Inside your head, I stand and make you believe that I love you more than you do me.
Or maybe you're just ungrateful that I actually exist.
I'm here, with you, supporting, accepting, even loving almost everything you do.
Maybe... I'm not good enough.
Everything with you has been new to me.
But not this part.
Maybe it's not you at all, it's just me.
No one wants to be with me, so I guess it's okay for you to feel the same.
Maybe it's about time I stop fantasizing, stop dreaming of something you don't want to be real.
I have to respect your wishes right? Do what makes you happy?
But maybe it's not all about you.
Stop being so selfish.
Maybe... We should've just been a one night thing.
Because this dream is just another fantasy of mine and it's slowly turning into a nightmare.
Or maybe... This is what's supposed to happen.
Ups and downs, thick and thin, all part of a relationship, right?
Maybe we'll be alright.
Just maybe.

I just want to open my eyes in the morning..
I just want to turn my head to the side..
I just want to open my house door..
I just want to get off the bus..
I just want to arrive at school..
I just want to walk into and out of class..
I just want to bump into in the hallway..
I just want to exit the building..
I just want to glance outdoors during practice..
I just want to leave school for the day..
I just want to enter my driveway, my home..
I just want to come out of the shower..
I just want to walk into my room..
I just want to lay down, face, sleep next to..


Her.
Every single day, like she's part of my daily routine.