Asshole.

SO, today is Sunday.
I had a rude awakening to something too embarassing to even mention.. I apologize, followed by a disappointing, but beautiful awakening to the raindrops on my window sill.

Last night Las Americas, the team I'm currently on, had a victorious game. I don't remember the score, it doesn't even matter to me really. I scored at least 10 points, my finger was hurting, and my coach still tends to be an idiot.

"Let the Players play, Coaches coach, and the Officials officiate."

Something I wish he would understand, listen to, and even if he disagrees, respect.

Anyways.

Someone beauitful unintentionally re-opened my eyes to this "sad vibe" in some of these blogs. A depression that you can't and don't actually catch a glimpse of when you see the writer in person. We can all come to the agreement that most people use this blogging site to vent, in other words, write about the deeper layer of thoughts and emotions that they can't put into words with their voice. Like 90-95% of the time, these blogs revolve around school, people from school, and events that take place there. The other 10-5% of it is about our outside-of-school lives, such as sports, jobs, friends, and families. I say this simply because "school," Pre-K until College, is where we spend most our lives, so that's basically where most of our sadness, anger, and eventually depression is caused by or comes from. All these flaws are hidden behind the dique "happiness" that is portrayed when we smile and say "Hello."
It's not like we can do anything about it. Half the time this "vibe" is caused by people we can't change and have no power over, events that, even though we're not part of, are still affected by, and a place that is expected so highly of, like Classical, yet it's digusting inside like.... Can we get a reformation like Central, whose deserving students so much needed it, did last year?? Can we get a stronger staff of teachers who are actually willing and determined to teach us what we need to know, giving us individual attention when needed, and make Classical the "college-preparatory school" that it's supposed to be?? Teachers who actually love what they do, and inspire students to learn, instead of giving piles of busy work for us to do during class and at home. And principals, who know how to discipline students other then just giving out hours of detention? That's OBVIOUSLY not discplining ANYONE because the same people are in detention EVERY SINGLE DAY. Principals who actually get to know and care about a student's well-being before judging them based on their attitude, tardiness, and amount of detention hours they have to serve. Don't any of you actually wonder WHY they have an attitude? WHY they're always late? WHY they act the way they do constantly and continuously get detention? As for the students... we're all a bunch of unique indiviuals who are suffering from the same pain, and yet, we treat eachother like it's the other's fault. What happened to open-mindedness? What happened to compromises? What happened to consideration and respect? Does the "Children are the Future" quote mean ANYTHING?! We're presently in the process of making the future based on what we've learned from the past. And if we all acting like bunch of fake, ignorant, selfish, and self-centered ASSHOLES, then what do you think we're going to be surrounded by later on in life? I bet no one even thinks of any of this the way I do.. And if they have, they're too afraid to speak up. Stop whispering the truth, and maybe, just maybe, people can stop shouting lies, because the truth is finally opened up to them. "Actions speak louder than words." But isn't speaking a verb, making it an action?

Does Anyone Even Care?!

I do, but I'm only one person. There's only so much I can say or do..

I feel like a hypocrit in a way, because lately..

I've been acting like and being a complete asshole.

A queen of all jerks.

With the attitude of the angriest female.

All because of both my in and outside of school lives.

I'm tired of working, I can't sleep through the night, my body is sore, my diet is irregular, which affects my learning and causes my bad attitude, as well as the negativity I'm surrounded by. I NEEEEDDD MONEYYYY and can't do anything about it at this age. I can't wait until June... I'm out of place in so many ways with no one to tell, who will actually understand, so I'm bottling. This world is so stressfullllll. Dique "Life is what you make it." Life is also affected by the surroundings that help make it.

I need a motherfucking vacation.

I need to stop swearing.

I need a new phone, since Zack is going to be the cause of my future diagnosis of being blind.

I need motivation.

So that I can fulfill the need to "step it up."

I need something or someone NEW.

I need sleep.

Blater.

Back in Business.

I don't know how many times I'm going to say/type this, but..

After talking to like 4 different T-Mobile Representatives, Zack is working properly again. :))))))

I'm pretty stoked right now. As well as overly exhausted.

Blater.

Text Me Bitchesss.

*OH! And Lil` Timmy is sooooo coooool. ^___^

"Yeah Man."

There's a funny story to that title. lol.
So, I haven't really done this in a while, but I'm going to talk about my day.
It happened to be an interesting one.

During school hours, I swear to G, teachers and people in general, but ESPECIALLY teachers today were pulling my effin` strings.

First, Mr. Mao was rushing with the notes, as usual, so whatever. Didnt write them.

Second, Mrs. Almanzar gave assigned seats like wtf?! And some kid Alex CUSSED HER OUT. Swears and all, telling her "not to touch his fucking shit" and that "all fucking bases are not squares." Shit was hilarious at first, and then I heard her voice trembling as she called the office so I kinda felt bad, and did my work...

Third, Mr. Lial... OOUF. He split my best friend, Heiry and I apart in his class. Dique I "distract her" and that we both "should focus on piano playing on our own." BULLSHIT. Heiry does her own thing and I do mine; when she needs help, I help her. So the fuck what if we just so happen to have a 2-minute conversation in between time?!?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE PLAYING THE DAMN PIANO! But ask me to play "Jingle Bells" or "When the Saints Go Marching In," I got you.

Fourth, that class was pretty chill today actually. Ms. Lewis was bitchy, but that's on a regular. I had an interesting convo with Jake, who is the most chill, Jewish, white boy EVER. And then in lunch Jake, Grace, and I was like scheming/planning/dreaming/hoping to have a huge ass party for just Class of 2011. That would be madd fresh.

Fifth, after roaming the hallways with Meko, waiting, Mr. Jackson finally showed up and made us do some "due-by-the-end-of-class" questions and essay answers type shit. So I whipped out the iPod, and got busy. Then, Meko was liek craving for my attention and kissed my forhead and then bit my cheek.. wierdo. I still paid him no mind.

Until last period, when I remember that he actually bit my cheek and I didn't do or say anything about it. I was like what the hell ? Half the funnies, which is our big ass group in spanish class, left us today for the other side of the room. So Joel and I got into this convo, which was also very interesting, and got me to understand him a little better. It was cool. :)

After school I watched the first real fight in Classical. Well, between Classical students. It was FREEZING as we waited outside for Gibran and Kenny to show up. They fought. In my opinion, nobody won. Kenny got dropped a few times and Gibran got cut on his lip. the the Boys came and everyone bounced. I only stayed because I didn't want anything to happen to Jenifer.

Then, I went to Young Voices. A little late, but just in time to check in. Today, we had these cruel comments about immigrants and how some ignorant people felt about Diaz's bill to have undocumented immigrants who are in the process of getting their documentation and etc. to get help with financial aid to get to college. I'm glad that we're informed about this kind of stuff because the government doesn't do a very good job of that. It upset me to know that soe people were so damn rude nd outraged at this decision, and most of the comments said were out of anger, not knowing the full deal, and just plain selfishness. SMFHH.

And then Jose developed this new obsession with what my father gave me: my booty. It was so funny. It's like he never noticed before and now that he has, he was so amazed. It was funny, actually. As well as other things that he did... =x

Then, we went to K.P. where Rick, Jose, and I met up with Kendel. :) Yoooo. Kendel mann. I love being around him. He has this... "radically honest" way of speaking. MAD FUNNY, while at the same time oh so serious. today, he was mad hyper and randomly pulledo ut some Smarties when we were at the bus stop. And then on the bus he dropped one, and told Jose to dare him to eat it. `mind you, it fell on a RIPTA bus floor. He ate it. I was laughing so much. Actually, that whole bus ride, he had me giggling and stuff; madd chill. I like people like him. His way of being makes me more confident, and more open-minded, but more confident for some reason. After the bus ride, I had like a brave and courageous mindset.

I dropped off and returned some books at the library and then went to visit Marco, which I normally wouldn't do. I rang the doorbell...

But no one seemed to be home, so I put my headphones back in and started walking my way home. And I was singing out loud to Fragile & Just Hold Me by Maria Mena. I didn't even care who was listening. It felt good. When I got to Atwells, I watched the sunset setting as I was walking towards it. Most beautiful thing I've ever seen near my house.

Got home, got ready for practice. Camisha joined the team, which is like AWESOME, because having me and her on the court is like having Rondo and KG on the court. It's that SERIOUS. Practice was good though. Coach actually had some drills and plays for us. I was proud of him. He basically did everything on my list of things I was gonna cuss him out for. Good Job. ;) Everyone worked really well together today though, which was also great. The only bad thing is that my finger is in EXCRUCIATING pain right about now. =T

I almost ripped my brother's head off with my fists when I got home today though. He's anothe ignorant smartass that swears he knows everything. *When I use the word "ignorant", I mean that a person or people are uneducated about something. && boy, I was ready to FIGHT this little boy! But I'm over it. And I'm talking to Rick and my new friend, Yeriel. I need to call T-Mobile and put a stamp on Melina's letter...
that shower is calling me as well..
So umm..
Blater.



Oh! & before I go.The title story. Kendel kept saying that to answer almost EVERY yes or no question. It was soooo funnyyyyy. Its more of a "had-to-be-there" sorta thing.. Just wanted to mention it, anyway though.